Rough Draft-Need comments.
Open with a tight shot of legs rushing and pumping through the underbrush. The bushes are whizzing past and knocking hard and noisily against the legs and bare feet.
Cut to a wide shot of a young man running through the forest laughing and looking behind him every now and again.
Cut back to the feet and then Cut up to a side shot of CORNELIUS' face. A mischievous gleam in his eye as branches zip past his face. His eyes get wide and he ducks behind a tree that is close in frame... Over his shoulder you see another young man run into frame and pause slightly out of focus.
Cornelius: "Come on Alan, you know I can outsmart you, outrun you, and outfight you."
The focus tightens on ALAN who is panting and out of breath. Alan is standing still, catching his breath and looking for where the voice came from.
Close up of Alan.
Alan: "You think this is another one of your silly games or pranks Cornelius? This is serious, I'm going to pummel you for what you did to my sister."
Back to the shot of Cornelius, both are in focus. Cornelius grins and laughs.
Cornelius: "You couldn't pummel me even if you could catch me Alan Rigsby!"
Cornelius burst runs off frame and Alan bursts after him.
(during this block of dialog Cornelius and Alan are running through the woods... alternate close ups depending on the dialogue.)
Alan: "This isn't like the time you stole eggs from Ma's hen house. I'm gonna make you pay for this!"
Cornelius: "She would never had known had you not snitched. Besides those hens of yours give a good dozen eggs a day."
Alan: "To be eaten you horses ass! Not thrown against our house. When I get ahold of you, I'm going to beat the living hell out of you!"
Cornelius(laughing): " Like you tried to do when I tied Sue's girth too loose and you fell off saddle and all?"
Alan: "That wasn't funny, Sue could have stomped me to death."
Cornelius: "But she didn't and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen!"
By this time Cornelius has reached the creek bed and used an OVERHANGING BRANCH to swing down into the CREEK. Shoulder shot of Cornelius looking back from where he came and saying...
Cornelius: "You can't seriously be angry though."
Alan(from off screen):" For foolin around with my sister(Alan comes into screen and stops at the steep edge of the creek bed)I sure as hell can be!"
Cornelius: "We were just kissing a bit."
Alan: "My ass! I saw you in the barn, you were both as naked as the day you were born."
Alan leaps out for the branch and misses landing firmly on his ass with a resounding SPLASH. Cornelius is laughing hard.
Alan: "You bastard."
Alan leaps up and the FIGHT commences.
the fight can go a couple ways... with knife or without... with death as an intent and without.Either way I want certain things to happen... the rest is up to you MATT... I'll list it this way:
-Alan has a KNIFE
-Alan loses the knife somewhere in the creek
-Alan tries to DROWNCornelius
NOT intent on death:
-Alan is pissed but not serious about harming Cornelius... much
-Cornelius is the better fighter
-after Cornelius throws or knocks down Alan, Alan hits his head on a ROCK... HARD.
-BLOODY HEAD, BLOODY ROCK.
Afterward, a sombre speech and weep by Cornelius.
Gimme some feedback and I'll write more and add better/revised dialogue. Not to mention touch this up. Current Mood: meh